Dear Mx. G,
Please accept this letter as a formal resignation from my role as Good Girl. While I appreciate the many opportunities to beg for approval because that was supposedly “my place” and what I once thought would bring me professional and personal fulfillment and validation, I have outgrown this role and can no longer live my life small nor have my worth be measured by outdated metrics such as who values me, how much, and their whims. I have way bigger dreams and as Gloria Steinham once said, “Dreaming is, after all, a form of planning.”
Moving forward, I plan to pursue opportunities in other fields where my desire and questions will be met and answered. Where I can simply ask for assistance, attention, and support and be given those things from people who can communicate and show up not just eventually, but on time and consistently.
When I first accepted this position, I was operating under the mistaken notion that this would be the safest place for me and that with the insurance plan, I could finally heal myself. The problem is, this role keeps me frozen and is the antithesis of everything I actually want: integrated adventure, authentic connection, intersectional exploration, deep and complex joy, true growth, creativity, and to be a kind and passionate champion and certified practioner of love in all its wondrous variety.
My last day as Good Girl will be on February 13th, 2021. In my final two weeks, I will
- Assure my inner child that I have zir back and gently pack up all her belongings to take with me from her desk.
- Tell her that she can be a Dirty, Sweet, Kind, Sexy, Mischievous, Powerful girl, and so many other things but ze doesn’t have to be “Good” anymore.
- Fire the trolls in the management team that work so tirelessly to maintain the obsolete, out of date hard drive programming.
- Give zir permission to tell that whole department to go fuck themselves.
I will not, unfortunately, have time to train my replacement as there are a LOT of fucking trolls to fire and also this is not a position I think is in the best interest of most involved to keep, anyway, so I refuse to invest my energy on things that keep me asleep to my own magic anymore.
Vividly and vibrantly,
(Writing prompt from the incredible Andrea Gibson – to say goodbye to a part of yourself you want to leave behind in the new year. This also helped me write a new song, too!)